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Dead inside

It’s been more than a year and half that the situation in the land where I was born and raised is in huge trouble. And the crisis is getting worst everyday, more fights, more bombings, more dead bodies; children, women, men, and all for nothing..

The only thing that’s happening now with the people, who are the only party in all this mess that matter to me, is that they’re dying, those who are lucky enough to be still alive are dying inside, they’re losing their souls, their feelings, sometimes even their faiths.

Me too, I’m starting to lose faith in everything, the other day I even saw a photo of the street I went to school on bombed down, I was sad a little bit, I was sorry.. but the sadness didn’t last so long, the sorrow stayed but the sadness faded away, and I was more sad because of losing my feelings than losing memories from my childhood, and from my favorite part of Aleppo.

The other day my really good friend from Damascus, Karoon posted a status update after an explosion near her house, on her facebook page that really touched me, it described exactly what most of the Syrians are probably going through those days, so I decided to translate what she wrote and post it here, and luckily she agreed to let me translate it.

Here it goes in Arabic (the one she wrote), Armenian and English:

شفت أولاد ميتة، شفت أمهات عم تبكي، دخنة عم تعلا وعالم عم تركض وأخوة عم يتخانقوا …
ما حسيت بشي, ما بكيت، ما خفت، ما زعلت. بس اكتشفت شغلة وحدة… انه انا اليوم متت من جوا…
يلعن كل شي …
Տեսայ փոքրիկներ մահացած,
Տեսայ մայրեր լացելիս:
Ծուխը բարձրանում էր, 
Մարդիկ վազում էին,
Եղբայրներ վիճում…
Ոչինչ չզգացի՝
Չլացի, չվախեցայ, չնեղացայ
Բայց մի բան հասկացայ՝
Այս օր ես հոգւով մահացայ:
Անիծեա՜լ լինի ամէն ինչ:
I saw dead children,
I saw mothers crying,
Smoke was rising,
People were running,
Brothers arguing…
I felt nothing;
I didn’t cry, wasn’t terrified, wasn’t upset.
But one thing was clear
Today I died inside.
Curses upon everything

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